The Story of My Vegetarian 'Phase'

To be or not to be… a vegetarian? Most people recoil whenever the word is even mentioned, as if they think a lettuce ninja is going to spring out of nowhere and steal all the meat within a 5 mile radius. Even the word ‘Quorn’ doesn’t exactly sound thrilling. So why do people decide to become a vegetarian? How can they possibly live in a world without chicken nuggets and big juicy sirloin steaks?

For me, the decision was rooted way back to when I was sat outside in the summer of 2002, while my parents were faffing around one of those Sommerfield bought one-use barbeques. They handed me a plate of different barbequed meats, and for the first time in my life, I actually looked at what I was eating. My parents aren’t the type to impose their own views and lifestyle choices on their children, and I more often than not got away with eating just a plate of chicken nuggets and ketchup. But the official vegetarian change happened just 5 years later, when my mum bought the book ‘Skinny Bitch’ by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, thinking it was some sort of bitchy dieting book that would whip her into action.

It wasn’t. In fact, after I’d finished reading it and become a strict vegetarian overnight, my mother made a hasty withdrawal from the book shrieking “I’d rather not, thanks!”. ‘Skinny Bitch’ is most certainly not a dieting book – it’s mostly about explaining how different foods are bad for you, and describes the horrific treatment of animals in vulgar detail. It also builds up a sweat in a mountainous effort trying to convert you into full-blown veganism (someone who chooses not to consume any animal products at all; cheese, milk, the lot). From reading the book I became more aware of the treatment of animals in factory farms in order to put food on our plates, but my new found vegetarianism and views on animal ethics did NOT go down well with my friends - a large percentage of whom were proud farmer’s sons and daughters.

Now I’m not going to suddenly start gabbing on about the gory details of factory farming, because quite frankly, I haven’t had my breakfast yet. Being a vegetarian wasn’t difficult in the slightest, because my entire perspective had been altered. Sure, I got ill every month without fail, a variety of coughs, colds, laryngitis, pharyngitis etc, and of course I had to deal with the moans of disgust from people around me as I broke the exciting herbivorous news. But the most important factor was, I felt I was completely in the right, and that other people around me would eventually give in and listen to the vegetarian message.

After 3 years of not eating meat, however, I actually sat down and re-read the wise tale that was ‘Skinny Bitch’. What bothered me the most was the author description: ‘Rory Freedman, a former agent for Ford Models, is a self-taught know-it-all. Kim Barnouin is a former model who holds a Master’s of Science degree in Holistic Nutrition.’ So, they’ve both been involved in the modelling industry – that immediately rang alarm bells for me. If you actually Google ‘Ford Models’, you can witness for yourself a vast array of women putting themselves up for subjection, battling against one another to deliver the best modelling form for an agent, quite similar to a bunch of cattle fighting to deliver the best milk produce for a farmer. Also, fair enough that Kim has a holistic nutrition degree to her name, but how on earth can Rory justify ‘self-teaching’ herself information and then write a legitimate book? I tried to teach myself something once. I tried to teach myself how to walk downstairs in flip flops as an infant, and I still have the scars to this day.

So, was being a vegetarian worthwhile? Yes and no. I’ll never know if I truly made a difference, and if enduring frequent severe throat infections was actually worth it. Apparently, if you don’t eat meat for a time period of 1 year, you can save 100 animals from slaughter. Well then, I was vegetarian for 3 years, so where are these 300 saved animals? I’ll tell you where they are. They are being slaughtered, alongside horses, to make a fine and tasty Tesco burger.